Dilemma Of The Muslim Immigrants

I am an immigrant to USA who has settled here for the last thirty years. I have raised my family here. We were not the very strict family, but followed Islam in every way and raised our children, who were also good in understanding and following the religion. Since we were in a small town, the exposure to other good Muslim families was limited. Now that we have a larger Muslim group and have an Islamic Center, things are different. They have studied Islam and the Qur'an and completely understood that this is the right way.

But during this time the children have grown up and have left for colleges, out of town. It is there that we saw problems, and now it seems that the children have abandoned the religion and become openly agnostics. We are very much devastated by it and after trying hard through family, through talks, meetings with the imam, and with Islamic scholars, all attempts have failed. Right now all we have is prayers and hope for the mercy of Allah, that He shall guide these kids back. We have also informed them that the non-Muslim children are not part of the family and will be out of touch and on their own, in addition to disinherit them as well.
Now, we are looking for any help that will provide some guidance for us to redirect these unfortunate kids back to the religion and save them from the fire of Hell.
I am not sure, if this is what is written in the fate, or the effect of this society, pressures from the peers, or what, it may be that we kept them in strict control, and when they got out of the house, it happened. But whatever may be the reason, now we are faced with this situation, and seek help from your esteem resources.
Read More

Dealing With Internal Family Issues

I have a big problem in my life and I cannot discuss it with anyone. I am 19 years old. I am confiding this to you because I have been assured that anything I tell you will not be displayed to anyone else. My father is in his 60s. He has a severe anger problem. Since childhood I have seen my father yell at my mother frequently just for minor things. He is very aggressive. Two years ago he got so angry that he even hit her. He hit her one day and the next day he promised that he would not do it again. This year in May he hit her again. I was having my final exams and so I was very depressed and because he had promised not to hit again so I got angry. I said a few things which I should not have. He hit her the next day too. The thing is that I have been having nightmares since then. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking that he hit her again. And then I cannot sleep. I am scared of my father. He is always angry. My head is hurting all the time. What do I need to do?

Read More

Rights Of Siblings

Duties and rights of a man towards his parents, wife and children are specifically spelled out in the Qur'an, Sunnah and Ahadith. Are there such specific instructions regarding spinster sisters in the absence of parents? The social norms and the call of conscience are well understood and appreciated.

Read More

Spending Zakah On Relatives

My brother expired a few years back. He was a bank officer. He divorced his wife before he died. He left behind a son and two daughters. They do not get any support from the government in the form of pension etc. They do not have any other source of income. I am a salaried person. And his children live with me. My family and I are trying our best to accommodate them as we love them. My younger sister devoted herself to their extreme care. She did not marry even when she is now thirty-two.

As there is no source of income for them and now I too live from hand to mouth, can I spend zakah and charity on them? However, I give away a part of the zakah to others as well. If I can spend the zakah on them do I need to tell them that I am supporting them with the zakah money? I am asking this because that is not possible for me. I cannot tell them.
Read More

Duty To Parents And Family

My parents back in Pakistan, after the marriage of my sisters, are on their own now. I live in America with both my wife and a son. Recently, I have decided to move back to Pakistan to better serve my parents. I also wish to raise my family in a country where I have a sense of religious and cultural belonging. All my Pakistani friends are discouraging me to move, but I have been ignoring them so far. Political situation in Pakistan is going from bad to worse. There is fear in the heart and logical reasoning in the mind. I feel that I am risking the lives of both my wife and my son for the duty towards my parents. Sometimes, I think of moving to a modern Islamic country such as Malaysia and bringing my parents there. But I know that my parents, at this stage of their lives, would not be able to assimilate to the norms of a new country and therefore, would mentally suffer. I am a man of justice. Please help me do justice with both my family and my parents simultaneously. Should I move to Pakistan or help my parents move to Malaysia where I could serve them while providing due care to both my wife and son.

Read More

The Family System

My question is about family, about which Mr. Ghamidi has talked at various occasions. His definition of a family is a husband (man) and a wife (woman) and children (biological or adopted). With this definition, at the root of this family is a male and female. Why is it necessary that it be constituted with a male or female?

Other forms of family can be rooted in a man and a man and a woman and a woman. This alternate form of family may or may not have children of their own from a previous heterosexual relationship or adopted.
Such a unit can perform the functions of a family just as well as a man and woman relationship. What is the Islamic position on a family unit based on a man and man or woman and woman relationship with agreed upon roles of the traditional husband and wife?
Read More