Mourning Death

What is the etiquette when someone passes away in your family? Can you cry? I ask this because some Ahle Hadees people say that you have to show patience. No crying. They also mention that when someone dies Allah sends angels to check what are the family members doing. If they are crying and mourning then Allah asks the angels to whip the person who has passed away. I find it strange. Is there something like this?

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Chehlum

Can you please enlighten me on the question of Chehlum ceremony meant for Isal-i-thawab (transfer of reward to a deceased). The ceremony is commonly held on the fortieth day of one’s death. How far such a thing is allowed in Shari‘ah? I am told that this is an innovation in Islam.

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