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Offering Prayer According To The Shi’i Fiqh

I would to know if it is possible for me to pray like my would be husband who follows another religious denomination. We are trying to find a way to practise our religion in the same way, especially for our future children. Our main differences in praying are:

he doesn’t put his arms on his chest,
he doesn’t raise his finger while in "tashahhud" sitting and
he doesn’t say "amen" after al-fatihah.

In the shia beleif, doing these three things is not permitted. This would invalidate their prayer. Thus, my question is: As a sunni, is it permissible to me not to do them?

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Following Shi’i Fiqh

I wanted to learn the meaning of the expression ‘ul al-‘amr (those vested with authority) in Q 4:59. The verse says:

O you who believe! Obey Allah, and obey the Messenger and ‘ul al-‘amr minkum.
TheShi’is take it as a basis for their concept of imamat? Secondly would you kindly tell me if I can follow fiqh-e Ja‘friyah if it appeals me? What about the small differences for example in method of wudu and placement of hands in the Prayer?
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