Unchaste Husband

I have committed sins before marriage. I regret the act now. I always pray to Allah and ask forgiveness. I am married to my cousin who had all the bad habits and he had an illicit child from an English lady. I had a daughter and she died. He was going with another English lady who gave birth to another child of his. Now I have a daughter. She is one month now. My husband went on holiday with his girlfriend and daughter. He knows that I know everything and I tried to say don't do these things, think about your afterlife. But he is not listening to me. What should I do?

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Legal And Islamic Marriage

I got married with a girl in a court according to UK marriage law. I just want to know is it acceptable in Islam. Or I have to do it in Islamic way as well. What should I do? I really need your help. I am so scared that I might not be committing zina.

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Choosing Life Partner

I would like to know what exactly the Quran and the Ḥadīth say about what a woman should look for in a man for marriage and vice-versa, what a man should look for in a woman when considering her for marriage.

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Forcing The Wife To Work

I am a working woman having three children under age of 8 years. I started my job a year before. This is customer service job so carrying a lot of pressure and stress. Working hours are very long, more than 10 hours a day. So you can imagine that with three children and full time job, life is not much easy. I would like to clear that to start the job was not my decision. I had been forced by my husband to do something to help him in economics. I realized the situation and started the job. Now with the passage of time I started noticing that my husband takes me for granted. He is not interested in fulfilling my needs. Even I don't have freedom to spend my earnings and most of the time I am accountable for that. He is not even willing to listen that sometimes I can be tired, or sad. He doesn't think about some recreation or entertainment together. We hardly go out for something. Even then I don’t feel comfortable and relaxed because of his behavior, I can't buy anything for myself until he permits me to do so. I feel that he has double standards for me and for himself. I feel that I am over worked and over stressed. He doesn't understand my situation and is focused only on his goals like good education for children and some savings. I too concerned about the future but it doesn't mean that I should forget about the present. I tried hard to make him understand about my needs and desires but he just ignores it. I want to know that in the light of Islam that what my actual rights are on my husband and what are his rights towards me.

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Dealing With A Delinquent Husband

Consider a husband who does not provide for the family has also indulged int drinking, extra-marital relations, and justifies his wrong doings. What guidance does Islam provide to the wife in this situation? Your resposne will highly be appreciated.

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Claiming Custody Of Children

I have a situation with my former spouse. I had two children with her (I was not a Muslim during this period) and now the relationship has ended. I have followed the laws of our society and have received nothing but heartache in attempts to continue my relationship with my children who remain with her. She has destroyed my relationship with my children purposely and I am not involved in their lives and am the by- product of what is termed \"Severe Parental Alenation\". My question is: Under this term, I could take her to court, prove my case of alienation easily, and quite possibly remove my children (age 14 and 12), by verdict of the court which would remove them from the destruction that she has caused. Custody would go with me. I have read that Allah wishes us not to seek revenge and to find another way and to not let anger be our motivator. But saying so, I need to protect my children also, for this is not a "God fearing" women that they reside with. I feel that I have a duty to my children to introduce and allow them to decide for themselves of what I have discovered through Islam and the way of life as a Muslim. If I do not pursue this in a court of law, my children may be lost to me forever. I do not wish to destroy their mother (she would gladly destroy me if possible) in a court of law with exposure to her tactics but I am torn here on a decision. My family are Christians and they will be very upset with me if I do not pursue legal action to reclaim my relationship with my children. As the Bible states "Turn the other cheek", sometimes I believe this to be a mistake. Is this woman (even though she is the mother of my children) considered my enemy in the scope of Islam and do I have a right under Islam to treat her as such to protect my children. Please know also that counciling has been tried already and she has thwarted this effort to gain a relationship with my children also. This is an extremely tough decision for me. I have asked Allah for guidence but I am not sure I understand the response that I received. The response came from a recent news letter that I actually received from Al- Mawrid the very next morning after I prayed the evening before for guidence, Your help would greatly be appreciated.

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Dealing With Internal Family Issues

I have a big problem in my life and I cannot discuss it with anyone. I am 19 years old. I am confiding this to you because I have been assured that anything I tell you will not be displayed to anyone else. My father is in his 60s. He has a severe anger problem. Since childhood I have seen my father yell at my mother frequently just for minor things. He is very aggressive. Two years ago he got so angry that he even hit her. He hit her one day and the next day he promised that he would not do it again. This year in May he hit her again. I was having my final exams and so I was very depressed and because he had promised not to hit again so I got angry. I said a few things which I should not have. He hit her the next day too. The thing is that I have been having nightmares since then. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking that he hit her again. And then I cannot sleep. I am scared of my father. He is always angry. My head is hurting all the time. What do I need to do?

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Rights Of Siblings

Duties and rights of a man towards his parents, wife and children are specifically spelled out in the Qur'an, Sunnah and Ahadith. Are there such specific instructions regarding spinster sisters in the absence of parents? The social norms and the call of conscience are well understood and appreciated.

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Can A Husband Force Her Wife Not To Pursue A Financial Career?

My sister has been married for almost three years. She is doing her own business and her husband supported her to open her own business as a beautician. She has her own parlor in her home, where she serves only women. Suddenly her husband's behavior has changed and claims to have seen some dreams and now requires her to lose her business, as he claims to have received some kind of Ilham from Allah Almighty. Furthermore his own income is not enough to support his family and such an action would require the family to move from their home and live with some other people in partnership and so many such other problems. Now, he is forcing my sister to close her business and asking to move with him. He claims to be using his rights of being husband and is trying to force my sister to accept his decision as a wife. We believe this is utter exploitation of the religion and suppression of my sister's rights to be able to earn. I would request you to give me explicit answer to the following questions:

1. What is the stand of my sister in religion to be able to earn when she wants (though, she is fulfilling the rest of the duties of her household along with the business)?
2. Can her husband force his decisions to quit something that she has achieved after years of struggle? We will be desperately waiting for your response.
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Neglecting Obligations To Family

Is it wrong for a Muslim husband to leave his wife and kids at night after 12:00 pm midnight so he can be with his friends and stay with them for a few hours?

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Guarding The Secrets Of Husbands

While discussing the responsibilities of husbands and wives, the Holy Qur’ān says that wives are supposed to be bearers of their husband’s secrets. Is this true? What does that mean? Take for instance a scenario in which a wife tells all good and bad happenings to her own mother about her mother and father-in-law. Does this violate the directive of the Holy Qur’ān relating to the wife? Is she allowed in Islam to do this?

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Dissolution Of Marriage After A Fixed Time

Due to insurmountable differences between a man and his wife, if they decide to live separately, without dissolution of marriage, then will the marriage automatically dissolve after a fixed period of time according to the Hanafite school of thought? If yes; then what is that time period? Can they re-establish their relationship after a certain period? If the husband refuses to divorce; what is the Islamic and legal way for the wife to apply for divorce? If the wife takes the divorce, is the husband obliged to give maintenance for children if the children live with his ex-wife?

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Oral Sex Between Husband And Wife

What Islam says about oral sex between husband and wife?

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Rights Of Wives

We know that if a woman refuses her husband to bed, the angels curse her till dawn. What if the husband refuses his wife? Does she have rights over her husband?

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Obligations To One’s Spouse And Parents

I have been married for over a year now and I am living with my husband’s parents and brother. Before I got married I had said to my husband that I didn’t mind living with them. However, the situation has changed. A few months after I got married, my mother in law began to change. She became very ungenerous to me. She would constantly pick on me. In fact she told me I was ugly, and I have heard her talking to her friends on the phone about how I am not good and girls nowadays are a letdown. Also every time my husband sits with her she tries to turn him against me, or will backbite about me. She tells him I can’t clean properly or other girls are better than me. I feel very hurt, and I have never answered back to her. But now I feel like it’s affecting my health. I am always stressed. I feel angry from the inside. Alhumdulillah my husband is great. He loves me very much and is very supportive. But what should I do?

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The Right To Beat Wives

I am an Arab woman. I have found that you have mentioned on you website that husbands are allowed to beat their wives. I believe that this right is conditional. A husband can only validly punish his wife when she has committed adultery. Here again the husband has been advised to first counsel his wife wisely, then, at the second step, confine her in a room. If she does not correct herself then she can be mildly punished so that the beating does not leave a mark on her body. One wonders how brazenly ignore the divine laws and teach people what is not in accordance with the divine injunctions.

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Duties Of A Husband Towards His Wife Concerning Hajj

I have a small religious question for you. Is it obligatory for the husband to take wife to perform hajj or is it mandatory for him to pay for hajj expenditure of wife in the following two situations i.e.

a) when wife has not enough resources to perform hajj
b) when wife has sufficient resources to perform hajj
I think it is not mandatory for the husband to pay for expenditure of hajj of wife if she can afford it. The problem arose when I said this in a gathering of friends where wives were also present and since then I am under hot water.

Now what do the authorities on religion say about this issue?

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Obligation To Pay The Zakah On The Behalf Of One’s Wife

I was married on 31/12/2001 and I presume a complete calendar year as my zakat year. Before marriage I was not eligible for zakat. I have only gold on which I am paying zakat since last 8 years with a self developed understanding that whatever is with me or with my wife is mine; I am owner and I am supposed to pay zakat from my income. I & my wife have no issues in ownership of gold belongings and I always paid in excess of what is required to pay. I never asked my wife that I am paying zakat on her behalf or vice versa but she knows that I am paying zakat on gold which is definitely in her care. Recently someone brought in our knowledge that my wife is the actual owner of gold and whatever I paid without asking my wife is simply a sadqa and still my wife has to pay zakat on gold for last 8 years. I need your guidance for now and for future. (Continuation of above details) I purchased a flat as personal residence by taking loan in 2008. Now if gold is my wealth then I am not eligible for zakat due to loan that offset my wealth but if it is my wife’s property then I am supposed to pay Zakat. Advise me on this matter also. (Continuation of above details) My father/mother encouraged me to go for the purchase of home as they wanted to spend last few years of their life in their own house although they advised me to purchase this in my name to avoid future complications. I gathered all the money with me, from office loan, with my mother and with my father while I was very much clear that I will refund whatever contributed by my father and mother after paying home loan from my office. My parents presumed that money contributed by them is in my care and they are not supposed to pay zakat on it. On the other side I am not liable for zakat due to the loan that is payable to my office. I need your clear guidance that who is responsible for the payment of zakat on contribution of my parents.

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Husband’s Desire For His Wife To Keep Elongated Nails

I have a slight problem. I am a sincere Muslim. I keep my nails trimmed but my husband wants me to keep them a little long. I have tried to convince him into letting me trim them because it is not allowed in Islam, but he thinks I am becoming an extremist because he finds nothing wrong with keeping elongated nails. What should I do? Husbands do have rights in Islam but I also know that in the Holy Qur’an God Almighty does not allow us to listen to anyone if they are forcing us to go against His commands. Please advise.

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Regarding Husband’s Acquiesce To The Parents

I am aware of the great importance our religion places on being mindful of our duties towards the parents and that one is discouraged from even saying even ‘uff’ (expression of being disappointed in some burdensome task or painful experience) to them. But could you please let me know as to what is our religion’s stance in the following situation.

I live in a joint family and my mother in law and father in law are extremely unreasonable, interfering and hurtful towards me. My husband is extremely obedient towards his parents and never argues or talks back to his parents always saying that it’s not allowed in our religion. I complain about my in-laws treatment to my husband but he always shrugs it off as my being too sensitive. The siblings of my husband talk back to their parents and so they are cautious in the way they treat them but with my husband since they know that he will never retaliate, they always make him the scapegoat of venting out whatever anger and frustrations they possess. They also mete out a similar treatment to me. What is even more hurting is that they would talk like that to me in front of my husband and still my husband wouldn’t say anything to defend me because of which they have become all the more gutsy. To add to my dilemma when I tell my husband about it in private he denies hearing or seeing the way they behaved with me. I am at a total loss. I tell my husband that the least he can do is talk to them and tell them to behave properly with me but he says that he cannot be rude to his parents. I tell him that he does not need to be rude but explain gently to them but he says he knows his parents and that they wouldn’t understand without becoming emotional and his talking loudly to them. I tell him then he should at least show his disapproval of the way they treat me and should be reserved with them but he does not even do that and keeps behaving normally and very lovingly with them.
Please advise what I should do and what are the rights of wives on the husbands when placed in such a situation by parents. I would also like to mention that my husband doesn’t yet have enough means to keep me separately and so we are staying in the joint family.
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