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Adultery And Repentance

I am a Muslim married man, but have had illicit relations with many women, most of them Muslims. With one particular woman, I had prolonged relations. She became pregnant. Upon discovery, we aborted the child. She wanted to marry me afterwards but I could not as I did not want to hurt my wife and children. Even then she wanted to continue the relationship and we had sexual relation many times afterwards. I have recently broken off relations with her and she is very angry and says that she will never forgive me for toying with her. Allah knows that I only broke off as I wanted to redeem myself, I have stopped all such nonsense but am very worried and do not want to go to Hell. Please guide how can I.

Answer:

Alhamdulillah that God has given you the courage and will to repent.

The ideal scenario in this case would be that you marry that lady. Please consider this very seriously because this could save her life being ruined.

However, if that is not possible because of your circumstances, then you should at least ask her to also repent from she had been doing and tell her that this relationship cannot go because you have realized that is…

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Troubled Marriage

My married life is too much disturbed. My husband is very much angry man. Most of the time I feel that we are near to divorce but we have three kids. I pray a lot then for a few days I feel relaxed. Some people say that your relation will not remain (God forbid). They say that an enemy is doing black magic for your seperation. I don’t believe in black magic. I want a happy married life for me and specialy for my kids. They can’t bear. Please suggest me what should I do. I am in very serious trouble. I try a lot to make my husband happy. I pray a lot and offer navafil a lot.

Answer:

I am sorry to read about your plight. As for the black magic issue, just pray to God that He keep you in His protection and try to remain in a permanent state of wudu.
As for the marriage problems, please try your best to put up with your husband's anger by not reacting and in spite of his bad behavior try to gain a moral victory by conducting yourself with kindness. Take it as…

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Permissibility Of Abortion

I was reading your Q&A about Abortion on your website. Refer to your statement that abortion is not permissible after 120 days in the light of Quran and Hadith. I always follow Quran as main source and with time came to know our clergy just to bring themselves in power has changed views according to their personal views rather than what Quran says. Therefore, it will be highly appreciable if you could provide references or guide me when the soul is put in the child ? And is there any reference in Quran about it?

Answer:

Please study the verses of creation in Surah Hajj and Surah Mu'minun. The way they present the development of the human fetus in the womb shows that life is injected at a certain point of time which is after human form had been given by God to it. The count of days given in the narrative is very close to this description. It is highly likely that the information given in the hadith is based…

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Permissiblity Of Abortion

In the western world, it is possible to find out that a child would be produced as down syndrome, which is 100% mental retardation and the whole life he/she has to live as dependant to parents or siblings or government. In case of female child, it is more difficult to take care of such child especially when she is grown up. Sometimes she became pregnant because of sex abuse. It is possible to take care of such children here but not in other 90% third world countries. Even here, they are considered as future burden for financial and social reason as they need a full time supporter whole life. So here, they give an option for abortion if test is positve for such disease. What Islamic ruling could be applied in this case? Is it allowed to abort in such case? Sometimes the test result comes after 120 days of pregnancy. What could be the ruling in that case?

Answer:

Abortion after 120 days is not allowed in Islam because it is evident from the Qur'an and Hadith that after this period, a foetus becomes a living human being. Even of the foetus is suffering from a disease, after this period pregnancy cannot be terminated except of course the mother's life is at risk as per the opinion of a doctor.

If Down's Syndrome is detected in a foetus after 120 days, it should not be…

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Forcing The Wife To Work

I am a working woman having three children under age of 8 years. I started my job a year before. This is customer service job so carrying a lot of pressure and stress. Working hours are very long, more than 10 hours a day. So you can imagine that with three children and full time job, life is not much easy. I would like to clear that to start the job was not my decision. I had been forced by my husband to do something to help him in economics. I realized the situation and started the job. Now with the passage of time I started noticing that my husband takes me for granted. He is not interested in fulfilling my needs. Even I don't have freedom to spend my earnings and most of the time I am accountable for that. He is not even willing to listen that sometimes I can be tired, or sad. He doesn't think about some recreation or entertainment together. We hardly go out for something. Even then I don’t feel comfortable and relaxed because of his behavior, I can't buy anything for myself until he permits me to do so. I feel that he has double standards for me and for himself. I feel that I am over worked and over stressed. He doesn't understand my situation and is focused only on his goals like good education for children and some savings. I too concerned about the future but it doesn't mean that I should forget about the present. I tried hard to make him understand about my needs and desires but he just ignores it. I want to know that in the light of Islam that what my actual rights are on my husband and what are his rights towards me.

Answer:

As far as the Islamic shariah is concerned, it is absolutely clear that a husband is responsible to earn for the family. He cannot in any case or situation force his wife to earn. If the wife out of her own wish wants to help in some financial crisis, he should be very thankful to her. However, in no case can he forcibly ask her to earn.
Also whatever a wife earns from her job…

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Decent Dress

My wife doesn't dress decently. I have tried to make understand but she is not paying heed to it. I don't know what to do. please guide me in this regards.

Answer:

In order to address this issue please address the root cause. Dressing decently is an offshoot of lady's modesty and chastity (hayaa). Unfortunately, today hayaa has been lulled to sleep. But it is present in a lady in dormant form even when she dresses indecently. The correct approach is to awaken this all important faculty in her. The best thing perhaps to do is to not directly force her or argue with her to wear…

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Marriage Age

What is the marrying age for men and women in the Shariah? Can any couple marry each other who had sexual relation before marriage?

Answer:

Islam has not prescribed an age limit for marriage. Islam however, directs the Muslims to follow the tradition set by the humans themselves in the light of the innate guidance provided to them, and the practice of the Prophets and Messengers which requires that only adult male and female should enter the marriage bond. By adulthood in this context we mean mental and physical maturity.

Islam does not forbid two fornicators to marry each other.…

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Head Covering And The Shari’ah

I happened to come across the opinion that propounds that head covering for women is not part of the Shariah. I am interested in knowing the reasoning behind.

Answer:

We believe that head covering is not the part of the Shari‘ah directives regarding etiquette of gender interaction. That certainly does not mean that proponents of this view aim at making women throwing off their head coverings. Rather it is only to identify the Shari‘ah directives in this regard. The dress code that the Arabs would follow had not been introduced by the Shair’ah rather it was in currency before the advent of Islam. The…

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Children Turned Agnostics

I hope that this letter finds everyone with the perfect Iman. I have a serious dilemma, and I am sure I am not alone in this situation. I am also sure that some brothers and sisters may have faced this situation and may have some answers that will help others in the similar matter.
I am an immigrant to USA who has settled here for the last thirty years. I have raised my family here. We were not the very strict family, but followed Islam in every way and raised our children, who were also good in understanding and following the deen. Since we were in a small town, the exposure to other good Muslim families was limited, and now that we have a larger Muslim group and have an Islamic Center, things are different. They have studied Islam, Qur'an and understood it fully that this is the right way.
But during this time the children have grown up and have left for colleges, out of town. It is there that we saw problems, and now it seems that the children have abandoned the deen and became openly agnostics. We are very much devastated by it and after trying hard through family, through talks, meetings with the imam, and with Islamic scholars, all attempts have failed. Right now all we have is Dua's and hope in the mercy of Allah, that He shall guide these kids back. We have also informed them that the non-Muslim children are not part of the family and will be out of touch and on their own, in addition to disinherit them as well.
Now , we are looking for any help that will provide some guidance for us to redirect these unfortunate kids back to the deen and save them from the fire of Hell. May Allah Protect us all from it. ameen
I am not sure, if this is what is written in the fate, or the effect of this society, pressures from the peers, or what, it may be that we kept them in strict control, and when they got out of the house, it happened. But whatever may be the reason, now we are faced with this situation, and seek help from your esteem resources.

Answer:

I can understand you concern on the issue. It is indeed very unfortunate that your children have practically left the religion they previously followed and have forgotten the tradition they belong to. At the same time it is very encouraging that you have grasped the gravity of the matter and are concerned with the present state of affairs. It is indeed aggressive indoctrination and lack of objective education that leaves the people in doubt regarding…

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Second Marriage And Permission Of The First Wife

A husband asks his wife to permit him to marry another woman. She refuses to permit him would. He has the financial resources to take care of both her wifes. What does Islam say about the woman?

Answer:

According to the Shari'ah the man has the right to take another wife. He is not obliged legally to seek permission from his wife. The wife however can show her resentment. It is very natural. She cannot be declared to have committed a sin. However, it would be very wise for the husband to take her into confidence. It is not very wise in the present day social set up to cope with the problems…

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Plight Of An Abandoned Wife

I was married to my husband in September and got pregnant immediately after. He thought the baby was someone else's and he accused me of zinaa without any witnesses and kicked me out over a month ago. I moved back home with my parents in a different state. Since then I have had little to no communication with him. He is not supporting me and my unborn child financially. He continuously slanders my name, threatens me and emotionally abuses me. I know that under the Shari'ah law he is obligated to financially support me until I have my child. However, in his mind he is not my husband anymore. He said, "I will exercise my right to divorce" through a text message without witnesses but it was never said to my face. I do not wish to see or speak to him ever again. How would our divorce go if we don’t even have contact with each other? Also, neither one of us has Muslim family and neither one of us has legally changed our names. He goes by an Islamic name which doesn’t have his father's lineage (he got the name from a Muslim woman he calls Ummi that isn’t actually his mother) and his legal last name comes from his mother. Since neither name that he has contains his father's lineage which last name would I give my baby? Would it be haraam for me to give the baby my last name since he's denying that he is the father?

Answer:

Very sorry to hear all this. As far as the divorce issue is concerned, if you do not want to remain his wife you can just ask for divorce and file for it legally. A court settlement will also take care of your and your baby's expenses.

However, you must name the baby by adding his actual father's name -- because however much your husband may deny it, he is your baby's father.

Aside from this,…

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Breaking A Relationship

I have a fiance and I love someone else alot. My fiance just visited me with her dad and she is now living for a small period of time with me. The girl I love alot knows about my situation and she can’t accept it but I love her alot. I dont want to marry her. I really don’t know what to do. I am planning to leave Uk or go on hidding. I can’t stand all this. My parents will be worried for my missing and they will be very angry. I don’t know what to do please help me out. The other girl is not willing to let me have her and my fiance. I don’t know how to make her, and I don’t want to marry. I saw my fiance for the first time and I can’t stand all this.

Answer:

You have all the right to change your mind and not marry your fiancé. No one -- not even your parents have the right to force you to marry someone you do not want to. You should just politely refuse the marriage (I am assuming that the nikah has not taken place).



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Dealing With A Delinquent Husband

Consider a husband who does not provide for the family has also indulged int drinking, extra-marital relations, and justifies his wrong doings. What guidance does Islam provide to the wife in this situation? Your resposne will highly be appreciated.

Answer:

Islam obliges the husband to provide for the wife and family. It is his duty to provide for all the needs of his wife. However, if he fails to do so and indulges in sin he may be reminded politely by the wife to leave the sinful activities and pay attention to his obligations towards his family. If that does not work the woman should bring the issue before her family and elders and they…

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Marriage Before Talaq

I am a married woman. My husband is an atheist. We don’t live as husband and wife since long. I am thinkinv over divorcing him. However, here, in Europe it takes long time. We have to follow the laws. I want to marry a Muslim man. Am I allowed to re-marry while the divorce process has not yet been finalized?

Answer:

If you were living in an Islamic State where Islam is truly in practice the marriage with the atheist would have been invalidated by the court at the time he embraced atheism. However, in your country you have to obey the laws. This issue is not only religious but also social therefore you have to wait for the conclusion of divorce before you can marry a Muslim man. It would create legal and social problems…

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Contagious Disease And Safety Of The Family

If one is infected with a contagious disease that doesn't have a cure. Is he allowed to still live with his family or does he have to relocate or something. And his family cannot be aware of his medical situation because he is sure it will cause more problems rather than resolving any.

Answer:

One is allowed to live with his family in this situation. Rather it is one's right that the family takes care of him when he is in distress. He should disclose the problem and give the family a chance to serve him. If they are not cooperative then he may decide to leave but he should not simply move away without taking them in confidence.



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Claiming Custody Of Children

I have a situation with my former spouse. I had two children with her (I was not a Muslim during this period) and now the relationship has ended. I have followed the laws of our society and have received nothing but heartache in attempts to continue my relationship with my children who remain with her. She has destroyed my relationship with my children purposely and I am not involved in their lives and am the by- product of what is termed \"Severe Parental Alenation\". My question is: Under this term, I could take her to court, prove my case of alienation easily, and quite possibly remove my children (age 14 and 12), by verdict of the court which would remove them from the destruction that she has caused. Custody would go with me. I have read that Allah wishes us not to seek revenge and to find another way and to not let anger be our motivator. But saying so, I need to protect my children also, for this is not a "God fearing" women that they reside with. I feel that I have a duty to my children to introduce and allow them to decide for themselves of what I have discovered through Islam and the way of life as a Muslim. If I do not pursue this in a court of law, my children may be lost to me forever. I do not wish to destroy their mother (she would gladly destroy me if possible) in a court of law with exposure to her tactics but I am torn here on a decision. My family are Christians and they will be very upset with me if I do not pursue legal action to reclaim my relationship with my children. As the Bible states "Turn the other cheek", sometimes I believe this to be a mistake. Is this woman (even though she is the mother of my children) considered my enemy in the scope of Islam and do I have a right under Islam to treat her as such to protect my children. Please know also that counciling has been tried already and she has thwarted this effort to gain a relationship with my children also. This is an extremely tough decision for me. I have asked Allah for guidence but I am not sure I understand the response that I received. The response came from a recent news letter that I actually received from Al- Mawrid the very next morning after I prayed the evening before for guidence, Your help would greatly be appreciated.

Answer:

Obviously I do not have the full picture and am not aware of the other side of the story. My answer therefore is only based on the information you gave in your e-mail.

I suggest you should not allow yourself to complicate the picture in your mind by loading it with emotional labels. Forget the expressions like enemy, anger, revenge, etc.

As far as I can see in terms of morals and law this is a…

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Involuntary Ejaculation

I have developed a problem of involuntary ejaculation. Should I do wudu for every prayer or should I also change underwear for every prayer which is not possible because all the day I am in the office?

Answer:

In such extreme cases one needs to do wudu before every prayer. If it is impossible to change the underwear every time one may continue offering the prayers as you do.



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Can A Divorced Couple Live Together?

I am confused about the issue of triple talaq. One of our relatives, in extreme anger, declares two divorces. His son shut his mouth. The next day he again gives talaq in one sitting three times. The man is about seventy years of age and his wife is about sixty five. The man is very sick and is lying on bed all the time. They have five children all of them are married. The couple has many grandsons and granddaughters. Keeping this in perspective please explain whether the divorce is effective. Also please explain the issue of iddah in this senior age. The man and the woman live together with their son in the same house.

Answer:

I regret to state that it is not possible for us to judge the issue. This is because such disputed affairs may only be judged and decided by a court or qazi whose verdict is implemented in the society. We can at best give our academic response that would not be of any practical help. Besides the decision must only be given after thorough examination of the testimonies of the related people including the witnesses.…

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Can A Divorced Couple Live Together?

I am confused about the issue of triple talaq. One of our relatives, in extreme anger, declares two divorces. His son shut his mouth. The next day he again gives talaq in one sitting three times. The man is about seventy years of age and his wife is about sixty five. The man is very sick and is lying on bed all the time. They have five children all of them are married. The couple has many grandsons and granddaughters. Keeping this in perspective please explain whether the divorce is effective. Also please explain the issue of iddah in this senior age. The man and the woman live together with their son in the same house.

Answer:

I regret to state that it is not possible for us to judge the issue. This is because such disputed affairs may only be judged and decided by a court or qazi whose verdict is implemented in the society. We can at best give our academic response that would not be of any practical help. Besides the decision must only be given after thorough examination of the testimonies of the related people including the witnesses.…

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How To Deal With An Adulterer Spouse

I was reading your article about adultery and found out it is forbidden in Islam to marry an adulterer. Fine. But adultery can only be committed after being married right. If for the sake of discussion some married person commits adultery what should the other partner do as far as Islam is concerned? Should he or she leave the other partner or should he or she make him or her understand that it is wrong? If he or she is required to leave the adulterer partner should it be done through proper divorce according to Islam or nikah would instantly be cancelled?

Answer:

The ruling is not restricted to adultery (zina by the married) but includes the fornicators (zina by the unmarried). However, it is when a person commits zina and is convicted then he is not allowed to marry a chaste woman.

Another case is when a wife accuses her husband or the husband accuses his wife of adultery and there are no witnesses both are separated after li‘aan (Qazaf) Such a person is not equal…

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