I am 25 years old. My question always teased me and many a times I tried to do extreme things in my life. I had a lust for homosexuality since last 10 years, my family cousions let me into this and on and on this lust increased and I nearly had formated my lust with more than fifteen ppl around me and I am really ashamed of this lust. I want to get rid of this situation. I mean I want to take my punishment. I don't know what the punishment is. Could you please let me know the punishment of this lust? I have comitted many atimes a harsh thing with my self to controll this sort of lust. My attributes of body and speaking style resembele with girlsh attitude. I am really fed up of my life. Please help me get out of this situation.
My dear brother, one of the most important elements of repenting, one that not many sinners can achieve, is the genuine feel of sorry. Alhamdulellah your e-mail is evident that you have achieved this necessary element. The rest is much easier Insha'Allah.
You do not need to look for punishment for yourself. Do not share this information with any one who knows you and keep it between yourself and God. Please complete your repenting by following these steps:
1. Feel genuinely that you are sorry about what you did (this as I said, seems to be already achieved Al-Hamdulellah).
2. Decide not to repeat the sin (this is only a natural consequence of the above).
3. Do Istighfar (seeking forgivness) and pray to God to forgive you. Do this in the most passionate way you can.
4. While observing all your religious duties, increase your worship of God by fasting and reading optional prayers to purify the dirt from your soul.
5. Regularly read the Qur'an, be in the company of righteous people and leave people who are regular sinners. Remind yourself about your death and the hereafter and remember that the Almighty always sees you.
If you do the above then God will love you as a person who truly repented (look at the end of the verse 2:222).
Other than the above, if there is a way to seek professional advice from an expert about your sexual orientation then I suggest you do not miss it.