What is the etiquette when someone passes away in your family? Can you cry? I ask this because some Ahle Hadees people say that you have to show patience. No crying. They also mention that when someone dies Allah sends angels to check what are the family members doing. If they are crying and mourning then Allah asks the angels to whip the person who has passed away. I find it strange. Is there something like this?
It would be extremely strange rather unjust to think that God would deal the deceased unjustly and make the angels beat him for the actions committed by the people he left behind. The Qur'an explains in so many words that no person shall be held accountable for the actions of others.
As for the proper behaviour on death in family the Shari'ah teaches us not to wail loudly and beat one's head and face. The Arabs would even hire women to do this type of actions. As for crying and weeping this is natural and Islam does not prohibit it.