Obligations To One’s Spouse And Parents

Question

I have been married for over a year now and I am living with my husband's parents and brother. Before I got married I had said to my husband that I didn't mind living with them. However, the situation has changed. A few months after I got married, my mother in law began to change. She became very ungenerous to me. She would constantly pick on me. In fact she told me I was ugly, and I have heard her talking to her friends on the phone about how I am not good and girls nowadays are a letdown. Also every time my husband sits with her she tries to turn him against me, or will backbite about me. She tells him I can't clean properly or other girls are better than me. I feel very hurt, and I have never answered back to her. But now I feel like it's affecting my health. I am always stressed. I feel angry from the inside. Alhumdulillah my husband is great. He loves me very much and is very supportive. But what should I do?


Answer

I pray to God Almighty to help you out of the situation and make the circumstances favorable for you and your family. Since the social issues are often very complex and difficult and since it is very important for us to keep the marriage intact we need to be very careful and try to mend things on our side as you have doing for long. I would suggest try to be more understanding and discuss this issue with your husband first of all. Please try to be very polite and wise in seeking his counsel for failing to communicate your concerns wisely and effectively will only damage the cause. You can let him understand that it is very difficult to put up with unjust behavior. I hope he will be able to grasp the issue and will try to wisely correct the situation and help you. If that does not work then you should try to bring in the other elders of the family and friends to help you reconcile with your in-laws and make the situation better for you. In our societies it is often difficult for the girls to let themselves heard in a family. Please continue praying to God and asking His help for He is the best protector and sure refuge from all types of problems.

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